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April 4, 2021

Leaving our old life didn’t magically fix things.

Life before deciding to begin this journey wasn’t horrible, but it also wasn’t great.

We were just getting by in so many areas of our lives. When I look back, I see two people that made so many compromises away from their true selves.

There was a sense of dissatisfaction and resentment in both of us because there was such a great divide between what our hearts wanted and the lives we found ourselves living. We had not intentionally created the life experience we were having, and instead, we accepted many little things that added up to something quite big.

So, in starting something new, the problems that had been created from so much compromise and not living our truths were still there. Leaving the old did not resolve those problems. However, leaving the old created a catalyst that allowed us to begin addressing those issues.

In looking back, it was quite perfect that we landed initially at a place called Saint Michael’s. It’s like we were protected in that space to begin healing what we didn’t feel capable of healing in our old life.

We spent hours on that porch finally coming to terms and sharing some difficult feelings. Many 3-hour long conversations were had. Tears were shed. We came to know each other better. We came to know ourselves better.

We didn’t always know whether the future would involve us moving forward together. That is the risk taken by diving into the murkiness. We had to let go of holding on at any cost to transform the relationship. It felt both scary and empowering to be able to surrender to the process.

When our first 6 months were up, we were not only faced with a move, but also with doing it as the world began to shut down.

Such gratitude I had for the previous 6 months. We had done so much work that ultimately prepared us to more strongly face such uncertain times.

That’s what taking a leap does. Taking a leap involves knowing that what is on the other side is uncertain, but you are able to trust enough, both in yourself and forces outside, to help you and be able to figure it out on the other side. The more leaps you take, the more confident you are that you will be fine upon landing.

It’s not unreasonable to believe changing your circumstances can help you resolve your problems. However, it’s not changing your circumstances alone that solves the problems. There needs to be a willingness and readiness to face what may feel difficult and scary. It involves being willing to let go of all that no longer is serving your highest good.

While leaving our old life didn’t magically fix things, it has felt magical to watch how our lives and relationships have transformed through deciding to show up and create something differently in our lives.

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